Hello cute guys and girls! I am back for more Weekly RinScribble! Yay! For anyone new to this, it is a series of me
rambling sharing about a week of my life since I got the job.
Tuesday 23 May 2017
Due to technical difficulties and full flight seats, I went to Miri tomorrow instead of today. Miss a travelling day, but that’s just how it is. Sitting in the office doing some of the on job training, progressing a bit more. I got scolded by boss though, coz I came late to the office.
Wednesday 24 May 2017
Woke up early in the morning, get into a flight to Miri, directly after leaving my bag at hotel I meet with them for my on job training. Huhu… and after that rushing, all we did was sign some stuff and I’m done. I have the whole evening for myself. Oh, I also bought some food that put in a box that seems to be given to orphanage. I am pretty sure its legit.
Thursday 25 May 2017
Went back home, coz I scheduled to work again tomorrow. I bought some chocolate, kinda like a gift as I am pretty happy with finishing half of my on job training.
Friday 26 May 2017
Boss told me to go to the office instead for finishing the confirmation form.
And this week, I am a more established worker, i mean i won’t be easily thrown out of company. I think. Meh, I’m just happy I paid lunch for some of the office workers. Had enough in my budget for a little spending. I still need to wait for the confirmation letter/ emails. Though supervisor reminded me to finish the on job training so i can start on the next progress, that allow me to upgrade my pay grade. Hmm.. I’ll try.
Saturday 27 May 2017
I kinda messed up at the job, although it’s more of I forgot one thing, and another one is not my specialty. I know how to run the wells, but there are some small details I forgot, but they don’t believe me that I know. There was never actually any hands-on experience for me to do it myself, coz they all wanted to do it quickly. Of course they can, since they have experience, and I may be slower coz I never done it. No chance given simply coz I took more time learning.
And damn recently we are having hot days, even in the midnight.
It was so hot I wish I have an air conditioner in my room.
Sunday 28 May 2017
i was kinda tested for my capability as a technician. And there are some feedback saying I’m being kinda, hmm… how to say it in English? Arrogant. I don’t think I did, but maybe how I reacted looked that way.
Coz, the way they asked, “Do you know this?” Of course the answer is, if I do know, is ” Yes I know it.” They think I lied. I don’t lie that good. I have always been truthful in that I am only confidently answer something if I actually know it. If I lack knowledge I just say I dunno. Maybe too much “I dunno” that make them think I know nothing and pretend to know. Sometime I knew but I was nervous and forgot things. No one believed me though.
And they also said that my face when people, um, give feedback to me, looks like I wanna kill them. When it’s actually my serious face. I don’t focus very well normally, so when people talk to me, if I wanna give full attention to them, I always put on that face. I don’t focus when I smile. As if they believed me when I said that. It’s the truth, but no one trust me anymore. Oh well.
And then, weather became worse, so we went back home early.
Monday 29 May 2017
You know how we can see who actually care if they contact you when you are not there? And when you’re sick? And we can see those with some guilt in their heart that may have revenge or bad intention towards me just run away and not looking into my eyes when I am in trouble?
I now see them. Ah, it is quite painful indeed. I don’t feel like giving details coz it means every one of them will know I am the one writing here.
It hurt a lot just to move. I don’t really show it that much, except with some weird body posture when I walk. Try to keep on smiling. There are times I got angry with small things coz it’s painful. You know, I like imagining how I looked like to other people. And what I think about it either they sympathize with me, or they think I’m pretending to be sick. Maybe they will only believed it if I was hospitalized
So in conclusion, despite I having a better job position, I feel like my relationship with my work colleague is at the worse end. Some do well with me, but more often than not, it’s because they kind, or they prefer have good relationship with anyone(pretending I guess). Others want me to give them something in return for their friendship, I think. I don’t go around throwing money to make friends. Even if this means I’ll have hard time, I don’t want friends that is gonna be there just when it’s suit them. When I have money. When I spend money for their foods in the cafe/restaurant. We have pretty good pay,but doesn’t mean I can just spent it all for others. I have my family, myself to think about. I don’t care they think I am selfish. Saving money for future were the reason I can use my new PC now, the one I saving for months. Maybe 2 years, considering I save it since my part time job.
Oh well, I am just rambling about here. 🙂 I don’t have anyone I can ramble to that don’t judge me, so I typed my thoughts here hehe:P